This blog had a strange beginning.
Due to a now-deleted post, one person from my past called to apologize and another became extremely upset. I was shocked. They both thought it was about them. But to me, the post was a fiction. It was a synthesis of themes, details, and parallels in my experience— a symbol. And I hadn't promoted the blog or even had a blog for about eight years. I was in rough draft mode, experimenting while building out the site. I didn't know who my audience who be, but I certainly wasn't expecting an audience of two: two Former Muses.
I'm not a fan of censorship, but so long as I'd offended half my audience, I gave it some thought. The refusal (or inability) to communicate is a primary ingredient in chaos, and chaos is not what I intended to make. In an attempt to communicate with someone who refused to communicate with me, I removed the post in hopes of saying that I cared for his feelings more than I cared for my thoughtless (yet colorful and decently composed) blog post.
From now on, however, this blog should not be considered an ode to any one person, no matter what I write. It's not a private fashion show. If you don't like my style, read a different blog. As an abstract artist, I have a long history of not being realistic. Or literal. And I love metaphors, even the stupid ones.
And thanks, to half my audience, for giving me a call. I was at first afraid when I saw your friendly message, but it's great to be back in touch with the person— the muse and artist— who taught me the meaning of the word "hope." It was a big fight and a long lesson (and perhaps a future blog post), but now I know that hope is innocent and innocence, more powerful than our differences. Hope can survive chaos.
"I love you, please forgive me, and I'm sorry." —The H'oponopano Prayer
Ps. Ok. A third person read my now-deleted blog, a songwriter. She called to say, "I love this. Wanna write a song with me?" I had wanted to write a song with her for fifteen years, so, yes. We wrote a song in which the story became a story about personal power— empowerment. The metaphors changed. We used the word “origami.” Because we can fold according to the definition of another, or we can fold to become who we choose to be. Or we don't have to fold. Nope.